My daughter just diagnosed...

[poss42]

Hi Aspergersgirl

My daughter has just been diagnosed with Asperger's and we are just about convinced ourselves that the diagnosis is correct. She is 10 almost 11 with majority of all her traits displayed only at home. As you were diagnosed at 13 were you told of the diagnosis then also. We haven't told our daughter as yet as we want to be 100% sure this is correct and to be honest I know her reaction will be explosive and I want to deliver it the best I can and don't quite know how to do that.
We have received some advice for her to see an educational psychologist and/or speech therapist and I was wondering if you or anyone else had seen these types of practitioners and what you thought, did they help your understanding of the world at all? What did help? What helps you now?

I am just at a bit of a loss as where to go first
Any feedback greatfully received
poss42

[Aspergers Girl]

Hi Aspergersgirl

My daughter has just been diagnosed with Asperger's and we are just about convinced ourselves that the diagnosis is correct. She is 10 almost 11 with majority of all her traits displayed only at home. As you were diagnosed at 13 were you told of the diagnosis then also. We haven't told our daughter as yet as we want to be 100% sure this is correct and to be honest I know her reaction will be explosive and I want to deliver it the best I can and don't quite know how to do that.
We have received some advice for her to see an educational psychologist and/or speech therapist and I was wondering if you or anyone else had seen these types of practitioners and what you thought, did they help your understanding of the world at all? What did help? What helps you now?

I am just at a bit of a loss as where to go first
Any feedback greatfully received
poss42

I think I was told, but don't remember. I don't know if its a good idea to tell someone so young, If I had remembered, I would have been upset because of the label. It depends if you think she will benefit from knowing this young? It really is a personal choice, in some ways she will be happier if you don't, but then again, maybe in future she will be mad at you for not telling her.

I saw a psychologist when I was diagnosed with the problem every week, it didn't really seem to help, but it was nice to know the support was there. I might ask my mother a bit more detail on this as she was the one in your postition.

What helps me now is really support from family. I'm lucky to have the family I do, and it really does make all the difference.

[Dantac]

if you haven't told her already i'd like to offer a different perspective:


I was never diagnosed.

school wasnt very pleasant for me but since I didnt about AS I never had the crutch to fall on of 'i have a condition' and I believe that alone allowed me to grow into my own person.. not into someone with a label struggling to find his own identity.

I see many people with early diagnosis that end up breaking away from school or ending up in endless sessions with psychologists and other therapists...get their brains drugged up, etc. who enter adulthood and spend their 20s and 30's in bad situations (bad jobs, no friends or bad friends, etc).

everyone is different of course. Im just saying that im sure that if I was told at a young age that my social and learning problems were because i had a condition and thus, a perfect excuse to not try harder to accomplish things... I wouldve ended up like the people I described above.

10 to 16 are critical years for the development of one's personality and sense of self. personally id suggest not telling her, not giving her a crutch and be there for her to support her through school should she have issues. at 16 or 17... she should be mature enough to handle the why of her issues and have time to integrate that into her personality before entering college/working life.