Does alcohol help you dramatically in social situations?

[NineInchTails]

Before I begin, let me make it clear that I in no way, see drinking as a safe and effective cure to social situations.

I've never been diagnosed with AS, but it has become evidently clear over the past few years that I'm a definite candidate. The obsessions, the sensory overloads - I HATE CORDUROY! I like dressing in clothing that is slim and kind of symmetrical. I like leather biker jackets because of the shapes the lapels make and the shiny snaps. I can spend hours in the bathroom parting my hair until it is completely perfect. And most obviously, the social awkwardness.

When I'm sober, it's like I'm always waiting to flee from any social interactions. Always the same pattern: Smile, say yes to the yes questions and no to the no questions. Laugh at their jokes that are far below my standards of wit, act like I totally don't care that the person just interupted me and then off I go.

Ever since I started drinking, I've found it easy, and actually outright enjoyable to talk to people. My mind is no longer running at all systems go. I make jokes, I talk with some enthusiasm behind my voice. I was always big into drama in high school, I even went to an acting conservatory in NYC for a year, where I failed miserably due to depression from not being able make true friends and of course, excessive drinking. You see...the alcohol helps me at first. I become this grand performer, that everyone enjoys to be around, and is funny, carefree and invincible. But as soon as people see me for who I really am it's like they lose my respect for me, they view me as an alcoholic- which I probably am on top of having Asperger's Syndrome. All my social interactions are purely fabricated. It's not really me, it's just that I act it out, pretty well.

I realize that some of you may think that I'm just an alcoholic, and that I don't have AS at all. Like I mentioned earlier in my post, I am not diagnosed, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did.

What I want to know is is drinking to make yourself feel sociable common with people with AS. And perhaps what  people who have had the same experiences have done to remedy it. Because being drunk all the time is not my idea of a cure.

[MrWINRar]

Don't know, never tried :/

[Aspergers Girl]

Thanks for your post. I think you have a good point here - Alcohol cerainly bridges the gap between NTs and aspies.

Its because when people are drunk, they all say silly things! Thats why I feel more comfortable being myself around drunk people and being drunk.

You don't seem like an alcoholic, its not a good thing to rely on though, but certainly great for a night out with great people.

I've gone off alcohol for the time being as it's just empty calories, but for a special occasion i'll go all out.

[Bones]

Personally I find that alcohol just tends to make me quieter and more recluse - but it does reduce the anxiety of the situation, it just means that I don't care so much about what's going on.

My understanding is that alcohol inhibits the brain's higher functions, so things like reasoning, cognition, inhibitions, motor skills etc. slowly disappear as the poison has a greater effect on you...

[al1404]

I TOTALLY understand what you're going through.  I was a 4.0 student in high school, occasionally drinking, but never as much as I did my first year of college.  First semester was alright, I got a 3.6 and drank a lot, but second semester was out of control.  I felt like I had a sort of power and control when I was drunk, people LIKED me for once, I was funny, etc.  I was also big into performing all of my life, and although I didn't end up pursuing it as a career, part of me really wants to try.  that really is my problem though, i feel like a terrible actor whenever i'm not drunk.  I can smile and nod and go through the motions day in and day out, but there's no passion or spark, and it's tiresome.  With alcohol, the level I can fake to is dramatically increased.  what did you do after you (no offense) failed out? 

[MrWINRar]

The closest thing I've done to alcohol is something called "Gløgg", It's a sort of homebrewed beer we Norwegians (and sometimes Swedes) often drink during Christmas, so no, I don't know

[MrWINRar]

Then again, I don't think getting drunk tot he point that you lose intelligence can help you in social situations, maybe it has some connection to AS if you're an NT, who knows, because you usually strengthen the feeling you have inside at the moment you drink beer, people with AS USUALLY experience thigns in a much more sensitive manner, like if they get heartbroken they feel like killing themselves at the spot, or if they're in love they just want to go to bed and kiss all day long, so that means that if an ASPIE drinks beer...wow, then you REALLY gotta look out for sad feelings and falling in love while being overwhelmed with beer must be awesome.

[zenemu]

It is very common for people with ASD to use alcohol as a social crutch, and it works reasonably well for obvious reasons. I suppose the goal is to be able to manage in social situations without this type of support.

I'll raise a note of caution here too, I've worked with plenty of Aspies who have gone from alcohol to something with less obvious side effect, for example I recently worked with someone who has had an opiate addiction for over ten years now taking huge doses because it helps to give him the confidence he craves socially. Sadly this addiction now has a much bigger grip on his life than his AS ever did, and he is now serving a rather long prison sentence.

Having said all that, I will readily admit that when I was younger I often used alcohol like this, not helped by growing up in a very alcohol orientated working class area, where underage drinking wasn't / isn't uncommon or particularly dissapproved of. I think the first time I got drunk in a bar, I was 13 or 14 years old.

As I have gotten older, and moved away from that environment I have had to become more self reliant on my own abilites and to learn how to emulate the expected behahiour in social situations, which in my experience is what most aspies eventually learn to do with practice and patience.

Zen

[MrWINRar]

It is very common for people with ASD to use alcohol as a social crutch, and it works reasonably well for obvious reasons. I suppose the goal is to be able to manage in social situations without this type of support.

I'll raise a note of caution here too, I've worked with plenty of Aspies who have gone from alcohol to something with less obvious side effect, for example I recently worked with someone who has had an opiate addiction for over ten years now taking huge doses because it helps to give him the confidence he craves socially. Sadly this addiction now has a much bigger grip on his life than his AS ever did, and he is now serving a rather long prison sentence.

Having said all that, I will readily admit that when I was younger I often used alcohol like this, not helped by growing up in a very alcohol orientated working class area, where underage drinking wasn't / isn't uncommon or particularly dissapproved of. I think the first time I got drunk in a bar, I was 13 or 14 years old.

As I have gotten older, and moved away from that environment I have had to become more self reliant on my own abilites and to learn how to emulate the expected behahiour in social situations, which in my experience is what most aspies eventually learn to do with practice and patience.

Zen

I don't think It's NECESSARY for aspies to do that, I know plenty of aspies who are socially successful, but don't drink beer.

[zenemu]

I don't think It's NECESSARY for aspies to do that, I know plenty of aspies who are socially successful, but don't drink beer.

I agree completely, but it is very common.

[AS_Redneck]

I can't drink due to the meds I'm (and shouldn't due to my extreme addictive tendencies), but I suspect I would become an arrestable offense waiting to happen if I got drunk.

[MyGhost]

When sober, I've been told that I often say the things that people are thinking, but don't say.
When I've been drinking, I say the things that even *I* wouldn't say.
So I go from being quirky or blunt, to just downright stupid.

I very rarely drink these days though, as for whatever reason, my body just can't handle it any more.  I find myself with a hangover before I'm even drunk, which rather defeats the object.

[Remission]

The only time I get on with people - make easy, jovial conversation; empathize; bond if you will - is when I'm on drink or drugs.

A lot of society is prejudiced against drink and drugs because of the association with criminals, prostitutes, under-achievers, and so on.

But consider this: tens of thousands of kids in the U.S. are on drugs which are pharmaceutically identical to cocaine and amphetamine.  They call it Concerta, Ritalin, etc - the great cure for ADHD.

Sorry, but there ain't no difference between doing a line of chop or popping a speedy pill on the one hand, or taking 'medication' for ADHD on the other.

The drugs are the same.  The public conception of them is different.

Ergo: drink and drugs are not the problem; people's negative attitudes towards partying are the problem.

[zenemu]

Ergo: drink and drugs are not the problem; people's negative attitudes towards partying are the problem.

I've heard that argument before, and to a certain extent I can understand it. I work with Vulnerable Adults who have been arrested or remanded for anything from shoplifting to murder, and almost every case I come across involves Drugs and Alcohol, so I see what happens all the time when these things get out of hand.

As for Ritalin, the active ingrediant is methylphenidate hydrochloride and because it binds much faster than cocaine, the high is not as strong and it is nowhere near as addictive and withdrawl is relatively subtle, so although it behaves in a similar fashion to cocaine, it is actually a very different and much safer drug.

Experience tells me however that excessive Alchohol tends to be a much more destructive substance in peoples lives than any other drung.

[Remission]

I do agree with you that alcohol is best consumed in moderate quantities as a social enhancer.  For me personally I turn into an aggressive ass when I drink too much.  But one or two pints - that's just fantastic.

I'm not condoning people taking up a life of crime and drugs.

But I want to make the point that, even as there are people who know how to be sensible with drink, there are people who know how to be sensible with the other chemicals.