Do relationships tire you?

[ozymandias]

I am a loner and I am married. It is a very confusing way to be.

I feel the same way sometimes.  I was single a long time single before I got married.

[ozymandias]

As long as you are with somone who you an be yourself with, then no, a relationship shouldn't be tiring. Granted there is always some comprimise in any relationship. Where AS is concerned that can be a difficult thing but it is something you simply need to work at and you also need to make a conscious effort to be very aware of your partners feelings and the work they are putting into the relationship too. That sounds tiring, but I suppose it becomes second nature (literally) after a while.

QFT  My wife and I work together, but, we also have our separate spaces.  And it has become second nature.  It will be 20 years ago this coming April for our anniversary.   

[zenemu]

i love my bf of a year. i miss him when ever I'm not with him, we spend about 3 days a week together.   but its the hardest most tiering emotionally draining thing ever.  some times i feel so so awkward around him and like hes constantly expecting entertainment or conversation, (if he sits and stares at walls he gets depressed)  that I think hes going to be angry or break up with me if I don't keep a conversation going.
I cant do small talk and when I do ask questions, i get short mean answers or am told not to ask him so many questions because hes not an encyclopedia.  it gets so stressful I can be on the verge of tears for days on end.. and I am desperate to get away so I can cry alone in peace without bothering him.
its exhausting.
but Id rather cry with him holding me.

That sounds like a very draining way to live - perhaps you should talk to him and explain how you feel and how difficult you find certain things. If he understands you a little better, hopefully it may relieve some of the stress and tension.

[Nie]

zoe, if youre not good at talking then just go for doing things. play video games together, whatever he likes or something. watch a movie, or tv or travel eat... or of course the usual physical fun em... men always seem to enjoy that, most of them I believe.

[mikeseagle]

QFT  My wife and I work together, but, we also have our separate spaces.  And it has become second nature.  It will be 20 years ago this coming April for our anniversary.   

Congratulations on twenty years together   It was my tenth anniversary this month.  Although at times I wonder if I would have made past five yeras.

But to answer the OP original question, I do find relationships tiring.  Even my marriage is a drain.  But it is worth it   To be with someone that I can trust, enjoying doing things together with them, being with someone I know that will help me out when I need it.  Having that makes for the times when she interrupts me doing my alone time

[Demnz]

zoe, if youre not good at talking then just go for doing things. play video games together, whatever he likes or something. watch a movie, or tv or travel eat... or of course the usual physical fun em... men always seem to enjoy that, most of them I believe.

It is REALLY hard to find a girl that like what I like and can remember what she was doing a month ago.
Why do people have bad memories?
Relationahips a re seriously difficult for me because when people bring up topics and they forget the fact and I remind them , then they get angsty and I have to show them proof that I remember stuff verbatim.
I love keeping really fit  and I L  O  V  E   my online gaming as well to balance it.
I need someoen I can do stuff with like that but have a lot of alone time as well.
So hard to fine someone who appreciates my behaviour which people say is eccentric....
sigh...
Sheeple are seriously annoying

[zenemu]

It is REALLY hard to find a girl that like what I like and can remember what she was doing a month ago.
Why do people have bad memories?
Relationahips a re seriously difficult for me because when people bring up topics and they forget the fact and I remind them , then they get angsty and I have to show them proof that I remember stuff verbatim.
I love keeping really fit  and I L  O  V  E   my online gaming as well to balance it.
I need someoen I can do stuff with like that but have a lot of alone time as well.
So hard to fine someone who appreciates my behaviour which people say is eccentric....
sigh...
Sheeple are seriously annoying

As unfair as it seems, sometimes the responsibility has to be on us to modify our behaviour in order to fit in. In terms of memory, let mistakes slide (unless it is a very important mistake obviously). It can be irritating I know, but so can someone pointing out your mistakes can be equally irritating to other people.

You have to bear in mind that for most neurotypical people interests are nothing more than leisure activities, and although they are enjoyable, they aren't usually as important as your interests are to you. Try to broaden your interests to find common ground, but most importantly listen to people, ask them questions about themselves and the things they like.

[MM]

I agree with this one zen the responsibility is often on us not just on the other person.

[lifepostepic]

You have to bear in mind that for most neurotypical people interests are nothing more than leisure activities, and although they are enjoyable, they aren't usually as important as your interests are to you.

NTs can be every bit as passionate as Aspies about their interests. They just find it easier to balance their passionate interests with the rest of their life than we do. That doesn't mean their interests are less important to them as they are to an Aspie.