to have kids or not to have that is the question

[bittersweet]

If you had aspergers i think it would be iresponible to walk into a spearm bank and lie about your mental health. But at the same time, i think it's okay between two loving people who know what their in for. I personally believe, if i am in a satifising relationship, i know natrually my body would be the judge and know the mother of my protenshall child would have good enough genes to balance a healthy child. But if your with a fellow asperger and you both can hardly look after yourself, it would be a really bad idea to think about having kids!

[MM]

I remember reading a story of an aspergers man in norway that did that and has fathered 22 kids through ivf that all have aspergers tell people of your genetics please people.  Aspie women often have aspergers children thats the way manny aspergers women get diagnosed

[Meera]

I remember reading a story of an aspergers man in norway that did that and has fathered 22 kids through ivf that all have aspergers tell people of your genetics please people.  Aspie women often have aspergers children thats the way manny aspergers women get diagnosed

Aww, I'm very sad to read this because I really want to have kids. I love taking care of kids and I have worked teaching and reading to little kids. I also take care of my cousin's baby and I take care and babysit most of my brothers kids. But since I ahve AS maybe I will have to adopt?

[MM]

NOT ALL Kids had by aspergers mothers turn to have aspergers syndrome.  But the likely hood is increased discuss with your doctor first

[Meera]

NOT ALL Kids had by aspergers mothers turn to have aspergers syndrome.  But the likely hood is increased discuss with your doctor first

Yes I will do that. Thanks MM

[zenemu]

I can't see a reason not to have children if you want to and are capable of providing a safe loving environment. The genetics of Autism are very complex, and although we have an increased chance of having children on the spectrum, it is by no means certain. It is also worth considering the fact that the next generation is likely to get much more help and support than we ever could have received as children.

[MM]

Good point zen.

[lifepostepic]

Asperger traits in my family seem to be very stable--I'm like my dad, who was like his dad, who was like his dad. I suspect if that changed with any child of mine, it'd be due to something else than my genes.

I always wanted kids. But I feel like I got shortchanged by the universe. I was in my mid 20's already by the time AS was recnogized in my country, and by then, i was pretty damaged by years of not understanding myself and people treating my horribly. I got dx'd a couple years after a terrible break-up with a guy I had been engaged to. It scared me so much to think I almost married that loser that I stopped dating, telling myself I'd start again once i figured myself out. Now, at 40, I feel I have, but I still have to deal with all the garbage left over from when i didn't understand myself. I only have a few years left that I could have kids due to my age, but I don't think I can get myself into an economically stable enough place where I could support a kid. I am of course assuming I'd be a single mother. I still don't feel I could count on a man beyond being a sperm donor.

Theoretically, I see no problem with me having a kid. Pragmatically, it's a no-go. I can barely support myself and I don't want my kids to go through the financial uncertainty I went through with my parents. The US economy, our culture of fear and our elected officials' utter stupidity about how to fix anything isn't helping either.

I would love to have a kid, especially now that I understand my AS better and I have many years experience working with special needs kids. But I don't think that'll happen for me. That's what I get for trying to do the right thing and not have kids when I wasn't ready, like everyone else seems to do. Heh.