Diclosing Aspergers to a potential employer, partner exc..

[mr-understanding]

I just wanted to share other peoples thoughts on weather  disclosing that you have Aspergers to people you have only just meet for example weather its a first date, job interview exc.
  There have been occassions in the past when I have told a couple of potential partners
and an employer at the first meeting that I had AS with mixed but mostly bad results,
has anyone been in the same this situation? would you think it would be wise or not to tell people that you have only just meet that you have AS especially on a first date or job interview?

[bucephalus]

I reckon it's best to say it straight away or never.  I think it gets a tad awkward when you've already got to know someone as you're distorting the image they've built up of you. 

[zenemu]

It is certainly a difficult situation. The problem with employers and work colleagues is that if you don't keep them informed, then you can just come across as rude or standoffish without meaning to, and in the end, that is probably going to have a negative effect on your career in its own right. Obviously though, you may encounter some discrimination. Unfortunately the world is just unfair like that.

As for relationships - it is an absolute must in my opinion. I think it would be very unfair on anyone to expect them to enter a relationship with someone with an ASD without understanding the symptoms and the behaviours involved. For a relationship to work it is always going to involve compromise on the part of both parties and that is especially true with ASD's, so being open and honest about things and understanding each other is essential.

[Sin-ka-lip]

Probably not good to tell at all with all the misconceptions going around. Tell it in steps if you will. Or just do your thing and not care what others think- if they ask if you are an aspie, that is when to discuss it. If you work with other "nerds" lol, then it may be just fine to disclose it, they might mostly all be aspies too!

 With a close relationship, you should disclose it sooner though. Work and partners are a bit different.

[Aspergers Girl]

It varies with jobs. I have in the past and it's usually been held against me unless it was a government department, and there you HAVE to be PC. I try to avoid it for getting jobs at the start.

[MM]

Yes all the time it varies from job to job I even held down a job in a petrol station for a year and a half or almost that long.  I had one employer that I rang back and left an anonymous message telling him and his supervisior that they were a pair of ignorant arragant arseholes.  I dont recommend people do that.  I am employed again now and I just keep my mouth shut.  I smile I say hi but other wise I shut my mouth

[bucephalus]

It varies with jobs. I have in the past and it's usually been held against me unless it was a government department, and there you HAVE to be PC. I try to avoid it for getting jobs at the start.

I once disclosed it when applying for a call centre job once by accident.  I ticked "No" in the "Do you consider yourself to have a disability?" box  and "Yes" in the "Do you have a disability?" box.  They phoned me up in confusion and I had to explain.  I got the job though, so with my cynical head on I am thinking that the (big) company had some sort of equal opportunities target to meet.  I have a hunch that it is probably better to disclose to potential employer but that doesn't mean I will.  edit  MM.  How did you find the petrol station? I worked in over a few years on and off, it was my favourite job

[MM]

It was an alright job but I never want to go back to it.  I love gardening

[Aspergers Girl]

I once disclosed it when applying for a call centre job once by accident.  I ticked "No" in the "Do you consider yourself to have a disability?" box  and "Yes" in the "Do you have a disability?" box.  They phoned me up in confusion and I had to explain.  I got the job though, so with my cynical head on I am thinking that the (big) company had some sort of equal opportunities target to meet.  I have a hunch that it is probably better to disclose to potential employer but that doesn't mean I will.  edit  MM.  How did you find the petrol station? I worked in over a few years on and off, it was my favourite job

Well done. At least you can get through job interviews.

[bucephalus]

Well, the last interview I had went well (I thought) but I didn't get the job and he never got back to me to say no.  The guy was a bit slack (slow in reply and was late for my interview) so maybe he forgot. 

[MM]

I am pretty good with job interviews I have it almost re-recorded in my head.  Its shown how I perform for the job afterwoods that becomes a bit of a problem :S

[Nie]

I would say no. What can be going on in the head of who's interviewing you or the boss, "what special accomodations do we have to provide for this fella... just go with the next one". Unless, of course, we are dealing with IT but even so... If its me, and I want the highest probability to get hired - Id keep it to myself.

Seriously, lie if you believe you can get away with it - like in the job experience part etc.

Relationships, of course would be something else.

[zenemu]

Unfortunately a universal truth about Equality Legislation in any country is that it can simply be used as a guide on how to discriminate legally; whether it is race, gender, religion or disability. The best anyone can hope for is that the organization in question and the people conducting the interview are open minded enough not to follow any preconceptions and to look at what skills and qualities you can bring to their business.